"Cohabitation is everywhere. Living together may once have been scandalous, but today it's the way most people begin partnered life with the person
they love." - From the introduction to Unmarried To Each Other
News and commentary about cohabitation, marriage, and other topics of interest.
Could the cohabitation law in North Dakota be next?
| Posted
1:32 PM
Sen. Nick Hacker, R-Grand Forks, and Rep. Lois Delmore, D-Grand Forks, are co-sponsors of HB 1184, which would remove the law against cohabitation from the North Dakota Century Code. At the same time, the bill would add a section prohibiting two unmarried people from pretending to be married "in order to obtain the property or services of another by deception. In essence, sponsors said, the bill would remove a law that prohibits two unmarried adults of the opposite sex from living together. It would, however, prohibit those same people from lying about their marital status for material gain. [Grand Forks Herald]
Unmarried sex no longer a crime in Virginia
| Posted
1:26 PM
"We find no principled way to conclude . . . that the Virginia statute criminalizing intercourse between unmarried persons does not improperly abridge a personal relationship that is within the liberty interest of persons to choose," said the decision, written by Justice Elizabeth B. Lacy. [The Washington Post]
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
"I don't know how people got married before living together first"
| Posted
7:11 PM
December 1, 2004: The 2003 Census numbers are out, and unmarriage is on the rise!
"Lake Worth, Flordia resident Norm Gitzen didn't mind the more than half a million bees living in the roof of his house.
Rather, he said, they were "kind of mesmerizing," and he often sweetened his morning coffee with honey dripping from the hives.
But when the bees started coming into the house, stinging him and his nephew, his love of that cohabitation changed..."
Monday, June 07, 2004
It's coming! It's coming! Craigslist in Albany, New York!
| Posted
10:14 PM
Great news: Albany has appeared in the craigslist list of future cities. My offer to Craig Newmark still stands. In fact, in honor of this occassion, we'll extend it as well to the first Craiglist staffer who emails.
D and I unexpectedly discovered another excellent Korean restaurant today: Gohyang at 111 Russell Street in Hadley, Massachusetts (413-586-2682). In addition to delicious vegetarian bibimbap, we got to entertain ourselves by reading walls covered in the signatures of local college graduates.
For those worried this blog is turning into the Korean food equivalent of EatLA, be reassured: we'll return to cohabitation soon.
Congratulations to my friends Gail and Betsy, Robyn and Peg, Liz and Amanda and hundreds of other couples on their legal marriages in Massachusetts.
Congrats to Abigail Garner for the well-deserved coverage of Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is.
Congrats to Lockhart Steele on The Villagerprofile, that captures the great essence of LS so well, as in: “I like cranking out words"; "I still lament its demise"; and “It’s just a fun little world.”
More on the unmarried vote: "Heads of households are becoming increasingly unmarried. In the 1950s, 80% of households were headed by married people, now it's a 50-50 split. There is a whole growing group of people on the sidelines of our democracy. The numbers literally jump out at you," says Page Gardner.
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Cohabitation Vote: Now is the time to register
| Posted
11:57 PM
Want to see change in the U.S.? Collectively, the voice of 86 million unmarried adults can help bring about a world more supportive of family diversity. Once election day arrives, it'll be too late to register to vote. If you're not already registered, it's quick and easy to do so today.
I stumbled across the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network tonight and was surprised and impressed by how much the asexual community has grown. Founded by a Wesleyan student, the site boasts active message boards and an informative FAQ. Further reading here and here.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Cohabitation, not marriage, but no more crown either way for Miss India
| Posted
9:29 PM
"Miss India loses her crown over wedding white lie," reports The Telegraph:
But less than 12 hours after receiving her crown, a rumour began to circulate that would cost the 23-year-old her title. "Miss" India, it was alleged, was actually a "Mrs".
The country gasped. Beauty contests are taken very seriously in India and the scandal became front-page news.
The truth, when it emerged, was less juicy, but revealed much about the hypocrisy of social mores in modern India. Miss Pandit was not married, but confessed to having pretended to be so in order to rent a flat in Bombay.
It was the kind of white lie that thousands of young Indians tell to rent property in a society that still frowns upon unmarried couples "living in sin".
Even so, the story caused consternation, highlighting the gulf between the reality of young people's lives and the charade demanded of them by tradition.
Most grating for many young Indians is the hypocrisy that requires them not to show open affection or acknowledge relationships - even though their friends and often families know full well what is happening.
“Compellingly written, this should quickly become a mainstay resource.” -Booklist
| Posted
8:22 PM
Congratulations to my friend Abigail Garner on the publication of her groundbreaking book, Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is, which couldn't be hitting the shelves at a better time. As debates about same-sex marriage and parenting rage on, the world is going to be hearing a lot more from Abigail. Further reading in today's Hartford Courant [annoying registration process, made easier if you already have a password from another Tribune-owned newspaper].
Sunday, March 28, 2004
"Am I to read this as an imposition of abstinence on prospective foster parents who are not married?"
| Posted
2:43 PM
Ryan Bakken, if you think North Dakota is bad, try North Carolina:
WILMINGTON, N.C. -- An unmarried couple who are the parents of a 2-year-old child are facing the threat of separation because the woman is on probation, and cohabitation is illegal in North Carolina.
Melissa Sheridan said she and her boyfriend, John Finger, moved to North Carolina a few months ago from New York, after she paid restitution involving welfare fraud and was put on three years' probation. She has about two years to go.
New York allowed her to leave with the assumption North Carolina would supervise her probation. But, Sheridan said, North Carolina has refused because she and Finger are cohabiting, which violates state law.... [Read more]
Since I spend a good part of each day emailing and talking with people who choose not to marry and the reporters who want to interview them, it's often hard to tell the difference between a widespread cultural trend and whatever is on the mind of AtMP's constituency at the moment. But then, every so often, I'll get a string of emails and calls that fit together the pieces of the puzzle very clearly. Now there's no question in my mind this is really happening: there's a Marriage Boycott underway. The question is-- how many people are actively involved, or at least talking about it? Is it thousands or tens of thousands or more? How fast could it grow? We'll find out.
Could unmarried women swing the election? "If unmarried women voted at the same rate as married women, there would be 6 million more voters in the electorate," Marla Romash, a former Gore campaign aide, told Newhouse News Service. Read about it here, here, and here.
If you enjoy Korean food and find yourself in or around downtown Baltimore, I highly recommend Soo's Kimchee House on 11 West Preston Street (410-234-1377). Soo's vegetarian bibimbap is the best on the East Coast, and on a visit there this past weekend, she shared with me equally delicious green-wrapped dumplings and kimchee. I haven't asked her opinion of cohabitation, but I'm sure she'd serve any unmarried couple with pride. Further reading in the Baltimore City Paper.
Friday, February 27, 2004
"Thank heavens, cohabitation law is at issue again."
| Posted
6:07 PM
Ryan Bakken is again on the front lines of the cohabitation debate in North Dakota.
Previous Bakken:
"He opened the door ... and this unmarried couple was cohabitating, right there on the floor."
"The cohabitation vote... didn't divide legislators into camps of those who had high morals and those who didn't. It divided them into two different categories - the brave and the cowardly."